| no no no no no no. no. |
[09 May 2009|05:37pm] |
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today between leaving baby gap and heading to cracker barrel where i ate chicken fried chicken with white gravy, two servings of maccaroni and cheese, mashed potatoes with brown gravy, two biscuits and a co-cola, i saw a woman having a seizure in her car.
after further meditation on this, i came to the conclusion that she was probably "dancing" to "music".
last night in magic draft i was playing against a man who was between the ages of 45 and 55, was wearing a gray cannonball run tshirt, blue jean shorts, white sneakers and a large laminated DCI member card clipped to his shirt and with a straight face he casually mentioned to me that the scabs on his fingers were from his martial arts training where he punches a tree daily for endurance.
also, i want to mention that i am giving up. im done, completely. dont want to do it anymore. so tired. need lobotomy but im a colorless short. thats all i guess. but its true.
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[25 Apr 2009|11:37pm] |
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today i woke up after 4 hours of sleep in a sweaty fit. i ate a bran muffin to calm myself however it did nothing so i crushed several empty little debbie boxes.
downtown at the bookstore people were angry to be working in a bookstore.
somehow the day continued. i remember waking up at about 5pm with 2 cucumber slices over my eyes and then i felt a strong urge to go to a bookstore. i went to the arbys which is conveniently beside barnes & noble and ordered a vanilla milkshake. i took note that arbys now has fancy, more modern design oriented, cups that were partially clear. i felt like i was drinking a more expensive shake and in fact, i was. the price has gone up one dollar for nothing more than it was. i was in the throes of agony about this as i pulled into a parking space and went inside. i sat in the cafe for several hours trying to crush peoples chests with my thoughts. there were many asian people.
i stood outside on the balcony before i sat to write this and i feel as if i have millions of microscopic insects crawling on me, which i assume i do.
i recall having a very expensive panini during the time period that i have lost to he void of life and i am now coming to the realization that this, surely, tasty food did not even scratch the surface of improving this day. it was by far the worst day ever.
i took vitamin B and ate 5 gummy apple rings. i am reading a chapter in a book about forcefields.
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| April 21, 2009 |
[21 Apr 2009|10:14pm] |
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mood |
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 bored |
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music |
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Running, please wait... |
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so today was pretty bad. i spent most of it at a bookstore with business men, japanese people and old women.
i drank orange juice from the bottle 4 times and each time i ended up with it running down my stomach UNDER my shirt but i refuse to use a cup. i know its going to happen again... tonight.
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[19 Apr 2009|09:31pm] |
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today i woke up and was very scared. i think it was supposed to be raining and then it wasnt but then it almost did and then i just wanted to go back to sleep.
before i woke i was dreaming about dog therapy and then a trip through a mountain and i might have been a dwarf and i might have been furious. this set the mood for the day perhaps.
as i was putting some clothes that i had recently washed into their position on a shelf i was greated with the fact that my shelves are dirty as fuck and have been since ive been here. i had finally detected the source that was causing my radically sophisticated dark clothing to get "ASHEN GOO" all over them. knowing turned to fear which turned to anger which i unleashed oh two burritos moments later that i had saved from the previous day. after the burritos i had a small orange, a cup of orange juice, sunkist and then a cup of mandarin oranges, an orange "push up"(OFF BRAND) and then finally another glass of sunkist.
i decided ot make ice today. i have a plan that if the freezer stops working -- which it seems like it may do on occasions, though it may not as well - if i keep ice in it i may be able to salvage my numerous hot pockets, toaster pastries and snowballs from when it snowed last month.
i read a book (manslayer) and then looked out the window. this took about 4 hours.
later i went outside and tried to act liek i was breaking into my car but i failed to realize that this is probably a complex operation and i decided to stop. i kept the mindset of a criminal though and i peered into my car nonchalauntly looking for something to steal. i spotted several quarters so i opened ,my car got in and decided to buy gas. buying gas was ...uh... lame.
so this brings me to the next event. i wanted to see dance gavin dance. i drive there however i was only able to stay 2 minutes waiting for it to start before i had to run back to my car and gtf back home.
here is a photograph i took as i was running back to my car
tonight im deciding not to eat and then i think im going to fight animals tomorrow i find in the neighborhood such as squirrels or foxes.
ive been thinking about making various shaped cups out of paper and drinking milk and.or milkshakes from them but i cant seem to find the motivation at the moment. one step at a time and i think eventually im going to be able to do with as the days drag on.
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[05 Apr 2009|04:07pm] |
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nevermind, its happening atm.
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| wh... |
[28 Aug 2008|02:24am] |
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mood |
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 quixotic |
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music |
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instant girl -- blame on the ass |
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nothing happened.
at all.
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| ... |
[15 Nov 2007|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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 thoughtful |
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music |
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dead can dance -- black sun |
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fleet admiral's personal log:
something very bad is going to happen...
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[15 Feb 2007|06:24pm] |
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mood |
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bored |
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music |
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black ice -- yellow letters |
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i think... something very bad is going to happen...
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[24 Jan 2007|11:07pm] |
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mood |
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 uncomfortable |
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music |
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chavez - lions |
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this morning i awoke to robert palmers "simply irresistible" from the album heavy nova.
i decided to show up to east engineering early to get a spot close to the doors. good idea. things promptly went downhill after the morning though and i escaped... just - in - time. i smiled at someone who looked like chris smith as he waved to me and then i wondered if i had remembered to take the cherries out of the freezer for my upcoming dinner.
there was an article in the wall street journal today about fireproofing windows to save future investments.
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| the |
[18 Jan 2007|12:55am] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
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music |
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jeromes dream -- its more like |
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so, im eating some cake. dunno what kind. pretty good imo. my experience with cake has been a love hate relationship dating back to the early 90s. on one hand you have the richness and on the other you have the softness. am i a fan of one or the other? maybe both. the subtlety is sometimes hard to fathom. ive been trying to get to the heart of the idea for what seems like ages yet it is elusive still, a shadow in the night. i stress this point to people whenever possible.
tomorrow i may try to locate a vending machine. im unsure where one is located and im also unsure if i really need to use or see one but just going with my instincts, i think i need to find one. but its uh...
this morning i had a little debbie fudge round with a glass of sunkist soda. later in the day i had a "philly" cheese-steak pocket, another large glass of sunkist, 3 pear slices from a previous meal, soy milk, a bagel with a minor amount of pesto sauce and a small bowl of pineapple along with a cherry-cran juice box.
some skramo band is playing tomorrow night in birmingham so i guess ill go see that. will it be good? doubtful. somehow just dislocated my jaw out of nowhere. unfortunate.
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| *tee hee* |
[27 Jun 2005|03:58pm] |
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mood |
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 special guest entry! |
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music |
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teh skr444444mmmzzzzzzz |
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hello my name is matt and i live in alabama. right now this terrible girl is visiting me, claiming that she's going to marry me or something. it's a little too much to handle... but i'm going to go take a shower and hope she goes away. it's so hot here. maybe i'll move to canada where it's cold all the time. maybe i will put up the new issue before the next ice age.... probably not, since eric dieallpeacocks ran away with the reviews i needed from him.
i need a haircut and this girl says she's going to give me that haircut. i bet she's really just going to stab me for telling her there's no fries at taco bell.
sigh. siiiiiiiigh. emo sigh. ok that's the end.
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| your |
[03 Apr 2005|06:59pm] |
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mood |
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 naughty |
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music |
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of death -- song one on the demo (omg/wtf) |
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uhhhhhh. ive got paint on my hands. i dont really have anything to talk about in here. i quit livejournal!
hm.
im drawing a picture but it makes me angry. i hate drawing so much. if i dont finish it i will be like... SIGH. i went to some thrift stores and an antiques store. i need stuff to sell on ebay. this is because i probably need to get money. i want a way to make money and not work for it. looks like the plan is a no go. everythign is too expensive. i want to buy something for $1 that i can sell for a thousand. i believe the way to go on that is garage sales. those ... are... way too spooky. and way too early. maybe one day i will try. i doubt it. i bought groceries today. that was fucking rad. i love buying groceries
i hate buying groceries. the yare so heavy. i didnt really get anything too cool but i found strawberry shortcake icecream bars the other day and they are cool.
i try to puch this to the back of my mind... but its way to heavy... this update is going to be so boring. im going to just ddelete it. wait no. do you see that. i think thats the first time ive ever doubled a d as a mistake. this live journal post is worth keeping. its even worth reading or skipping.
i have stopped doing things i need to. ive got so much stuff to learn but im not, i suck. at least im getting super phat.
i bought 2 magnifying glasses and ive used the mto view the blades of grass outdoors. the green is way too green and everything is way too bright, its like the sun is falling on the earth and im killing the plants because i think im laying on them. im in dirt. or i was. the sky is way too blue and there are lots of clouds so i go to the forest to hit trees with the magnifying glasses and then i look at the leaves way too close with the one that is not now broken. its super cool in there and the sun is shinging through random spots making it look as if there are un-miniature lights shining somewhere up there. electricity in the woods... yeah right i said at one point when i was rollingdown the hill to this other tree. at least it wasnt foggy. i cut the back of my hand on one of the glasses. theyre both broken now ... i put one on a branch and bury the other one under a mound of cold black dirt and i refuse to put a headstone. i also buried this pretty close to the top so i hope to goodness that this thing haunts the fuck out of the neighborhood. when i die i want to haunt the woods. i want to be thrown out into the forest and left to rot.
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[26 Mar 2005|09:57am] |
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mood |
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 hungry |
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music |
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shudder to think -- kissi penny |
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( Read more... )
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[22 Mar 2005|07:10pm] |
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mood |
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 irate |
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music |
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ec8or -- 199ec8or |
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the pirates wanted me to update this and say that they are hitting me in the face "and stuff" ... the guy actually said "and stuff". they arent even though, theyre like hitting me on the arms or whatever. but there, its done.
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[22 Mar 2005|07:08pm] |
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mood |
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 shocked |
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music |
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lovesliescrushing -- jingle bells (snowblower) |
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just seconds ago, i found myself laughing with people on the food network. i was not laughing at them, i was laughing with them and at their silly joke attempts. "im never going to eat another hamburger in my life"... i laughed. not so much a laugh as a chuckle but i was nodding in a fashion that would be reassuring to the person that they had indeed made me happy inside - that their joke was a true one. the first thing i thought when i realized what i was doing is that i have to write this is my LJ because it is traumatic. the next thing as i was walking to the computer - i think i should kill myself but i dont want to. it was more of a quetion... "should i kill myself?". it was confusing. i was scared, then i sat down and things got a bit better. i think ive realized that this stuff happens and maybe it is best that i dont put this out in the open. maybe i will just make it a private entry. just then though, pirates busted into the house and hit update journal. as im doing this im thinking... i dont think pirates are cool anymore but that is the kind of stuff you talk about on the internets... and this, this is real life.
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[22 Mar 2005|03:04am] |
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mood |
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 blah |
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music |
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cursive -- the great decay |
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sighhh. im sorry.
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| oh, ranges!! |
[12 Mar 2005|10:05pm] |
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mood |
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indifferent |
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music |
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saosin -- mookies last christmas (acoustic) |
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well, monday i rode to landview mills and josh, david and paula all decided they were going to go to the gingerbread shop. i decided to go rent a few movies at "best flix" because their selection is supposed to be so amazing. i was told this by a robot. one of those that honda or some such maker of new hi tech - cutting edge robots makes.
about two weeks ago i was at their facility picking up a few documents i needed for the coleman case and some fucking bastard spilled coffee (very cheap coffee) on my pants. he was promptly fired and i was given a nice amount to cover any damages and i also demanded a tour of their candy production plant. they told me they didnt make candy and were somewhat perplexed but then they took me to... the robot.
we talked about shampoo and sometimes i would touch its face and dream that it was my long dead wife. right before i was about to leave it turned its head around - all the way around - and uttered the one line i am sure to never forget... "check out 'best flix' you worthless piece of shit". after i broke several of my fingers on its metal face i came to understand. maybe the robot was right. its name was curbie and i think it should have been named donna after my wife (now ex wife because shes dead, i have other love interests now but donna was a good person. do you think i killed her?).
so i go into best flix and im looking around. im in shock. these movies arent in english.im infuriated. im listening to big country by big country but i can only read english so even this great song can not calm me. i leave the store in a rage and proceed to walk over to the car and kick it gently until i feel two cold hands on my arm. i turn to see that it is kelly farra from holland. she taught me how to play field hockey even though i was not interested at the time. about 3 years ago i became interested for maybe 8 days but the interest never stuck. i didnt tell her this but i did tell her that her hands were way to fucking cold and dismissed her and told her cold hands are so 1999.
so im peeling an orange waiting on everyone to get back. im pretty upset because i thought i was going to be spending hours in this movie place because that robot was godlike... now its hitting me. maybe the robot really wasnt so wonderful after all. donna didnt know everythign but the robot wasnt just lieke her. she had a twinkle in her eyes but the robot had something more... something more. this is why i trusted it and thought it couldnt possibly decieve me. i could see my reflection in its reflective, deep eye plates. i hear from blackmarketscience.com that there is an actual human being inside the robot at.. honda? where is it? i dont remember the place as i stated earlier. anyway. i hear about this human... this not quite living not quite dead being inside the robot.
saturday morning im hacking at its silver frame with a meat cleaver. the floor is almost red from the blood of michael gearhart, a nice man and the lead designer as well as paul mckinney, the floor guard,(wasnt too fond of him). before i tore out half of micheals neck with a robotic claw i bought from a military used parts auction last year, i was telling him how i think donna is inside this robot and how i think she owed me money but i cant quite remember. oh i remember that is what i was talking to him about but i cant quite remember if she owed me money. its important i find out or at least i tell myself it is.
i dont know if she can hear me in there so i feel i have to get her out of the robot for her to actually be able to answer my questions straight but, you know, they are all telling me i cant do this and so fourth and so on but anyways, it is a long and boring story.
right now i am drinking an ibc cherry limeade and thinking about eating several pounds of lobster. this will probably be the last post i ever make because i hear that matt may be using his journal again to post about the things he does in his real life. i dont know why he would though since its quite boring. i am much more interesting i think but so be it. farewell for now.
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| 2 posts in one day. what a busy life. |
[11 Mar 2005|06:39pm] |
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mood |
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 contemplative |
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music |
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lowercase -- the open sea |
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here is a post and some pictures that pretty much everyone will not want to look at so feel free to skip it. i went to look for japanese people...
( pictures in the lj cut )
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| a trip to canada |
[11 Mar 2005|10:20am] |
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mood |
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 hopeful |
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music |
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the hue of two -- and when they call |
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well i went to canada for a week so here are some pictures. i didnt take too many which is bad for visual memories but good since i only had to keep up with my camera the first 2 days. these are a few of the many things that happened and they arent really in order because im at a loss for what me and jasmine did when. the trip seemed more like a couple of days instead of 7. it is very much a blur but a very good blur.
( a livejournal cut for pictures )
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[27 Feb 2005|10:04pm] |
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mood |
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dying |
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music |
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silence |
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i am slowly going insane without the internets
i feel like i havent had human contact in years
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cmhwak's journal
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